Thursday, 10 November 2011
Wanting a hole to form in the middle of the ground by my feet and swallow me whole. That way it doesn't have to burn away in my mind. It's a slow process, it slowly curls and expands, like when paper burns in the harth. You give in but not completely, because of the fear.
Longing that this would all end tonight. Gently and soundly, to drown so eloquently by letting the water creep in and take hold. It is warm to the skin over the bones, paint it red.
Crossing the vast skies and forests in a mind that sets them alight in passing. All behind is burnt to the very core. There is no rebirth here. I can not cross oceans now, they have dried up. All else seems to fall away.
Sat on the floor, it started out by staring at the sky but now have been transported somewhere totally different and the surface has disappeared from beneath you. Literal voice is lost but screaming, screaming, screaming echos mindfully. Can you find me here? Even in silence?
If only you could see me inside.
Only striving to be so very 'lovely'.
What have I done now?