Sunday, 12 April 2015

Dust On The Ground

Where has the quiet gone? The contented silence of hours and hours.

I made a claim, laughed at by those having their way. I am no longer home with you.

Though, admittedly, this has been the case for quite some time.

The pain has never really left, you see. I know you hoped it would.
Yes, I have slept a little better. I have learnt that there is a way to manage what others look and point at as an 'impossible' situation. If you were to ask me, I could not tell you how.

The dust has been stirred and settled, but does not cover those still here.
I was quiet, but never blind.

Perhaps it is when romantics die that the stars shine a little brighter, welcoming the weary to gleam out in their final explosion of radiance. Though I believe this to be untrue, that is in our life they sparkle most. For we are to see their cheer only then, only alive. For loves of lives and lives of love exist in the now. So we must strive to live to see them through. We must continue on. 

Nothing tempts me away. I have spent much time in a different kind of lonely from you.

Scaling mountains, crossing seas and tramping through forests has not been necessary here. No adventures, no great distance to reach a final destination in journey. Holding on is a different kind of travel. Yet, I have walked some kind of path. I have roamed and returned. Always the same. A look in the mirror never the same.

"Because I'm searching for something I hope in my heart I will find,
And though it's testing my patience away I'll be biding my time."

Is this all a test? The greatest test of my life?
What is strong? What keeps me hanging on here?

"Your mess is mine." 

I know it has been a while, yet again. Just please know you are so loved.