Sunday, 2 October 2011

Limbo, Panto

Heart palpitations. Shakes filling the space between the floor and tiles. You feel it in your hands first. The sensation of deprivation sinking in, lassoing the ropes around your arteries and double knot, pulled tight. Control taken. Pathetic fallacy impossible, so the imagination takes over. Thunderstorms and lightning. The combination that makes you do things once thought to be on the brink of something else. She makes me beg, forces flexibility, performance to be perfect. Screams and shrieking. You forget that you belong to anywhere, let alone to anyone. Wonder at the scale of everything. Selfish. Always wrong. You never know honesty, but it silently keeps punching. Constantly playing defence. One breath is different from the next, the change of pace is unbearable. Break the surface and let me into the world you're all in, it seems so much less confusing. Yet horribly real all the same. Tears pour but the sudden relief turns to burning, "you are pathetic, your weakness is disgusting." Over and over I listen to her. Feeling buried alive in the sanctuary that was sleep. They just keep on falling over and over. Hands make no combat. Can't fight the inevitable. The tracks are never straight, it is suddenly calm. Dizzy and sick.

Feeling insane. It's all over as quickly as it seemingly began, it's so temporary. No one believes you're being real. Are real. That's what makes the crazy, crazy. The irony personified shrieks with laughter, as they hurt and pain. Sick and dizzy.

We are so many tiny pieces.


  1. ihavemissedyousomuchwordscannotevenexplainproperly!

  2. yes we are. <3
    and i miss you tOooo.

  3. We're doing Romeo and Juliet. I never did that one in High School so it should be interesting.

    Take care <3

  4. HAHA I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THAT SIGN IS!!!! :D I pass it all the time when I go on adventures.

    ...sorry, that made me really excited.

    Love your writing, as always. You have a gift with words. <3


Thank you for your words.