Everything is new and shiny. It all needs to remain so pristine. Us humans, we are messy. We make things messy too. So easy to lose but not to find. Everything is happening at once.
So I would love to write something beautiful, and to know that it came from nothing but the thin air of imagination. No connection, tie or strung meaning. Oh would it not be wonderful to know that memory, the songs of childhood or situations of happenstance had not a care in the world and refrained from the piece of writing I laid before you. That, living through mistakes and darkness was not the core to my twisty soul. But in these admissions I do give myself to you. Though beware, it may not be absolute. The river has not quite yet burst the floodplain yet. I use no comma as I do not intend for it to occur. I'll let you in because you are so special. I would love to once write of a metaphorical importance and know it is not the personification of one I may have pitied/rejoiced/missed/loved/sorrowed. Will I ever cease to be in limbo? Break the solace of ambivalence? Live. I would just love to write for the sake of writing. For you.
"Can you hold me like you held someone, you shouldn't have let go?"
You reminded me of the feeling I get looking at a lovely big blank sheet of paper or a new box of coloured pencils. I'm too scared to use them for fear of making an ugly mess. Blah, humanity.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment :) Yes I shall hold on to integrity. There are too many two-faced people in the world, we don't need any more!
Lots of love to you. I hope you have a great week <3
tired of being tired...yup. me too.
ReplyDeletei agree with this, but I'm not sure about the details. I don't think all fantasy is made up per say. I would like to be driven to more acceptance, and then understanding. It could boil down, in the broad sense, to existing opposites, but the "lite" version. But really no more than love makes the birth or death separation seem trivial. Wonderful post and in my way I feel the same.
ReplyDeleteYou should just write for the sake of writing--especially as your writing is so poetic. <3
ReplyDeleteI get the same way with "clean" things coming out of the dishwasher--I have to make sure they're actually clean. Mum does it, too. I think we just have a crappy (old) dishwasher--you really have to rinse things pretty well before they get washed, or stuff gets stuck on it forever.
xoxo
i've missed you too,
ReplyDeletethank you for your comment dear, i promise to send you a proper one in return as soon as i "unstick" myself,
love, xo
this is really beautiful.
ReplyDeletereally.
xo