Wednesday, 24 September 2014

The Hidden Shades

Tipping stars into your glass, let's see you fill up with cheer and good feeling.
God only knows you've been looking for a change of the scenery. You can grab a paint brush and start with the ceiling. Brush out the cobwebs, let's get the view back in our lives. It might cost spoons, but elbow grease is a free commodity otherwise. Before we do the next room, we'll smash everything. Did you hear that it's therapeutic? Here's a bottle I filled with a societal oppression, whilst you may wish to really break this one into a million tiny pieces, could you possibly do it outside? We'll have none of that in here. But that's the bloody point, down and it comes hissing as the glass splinters and wisps of a quiet rage seep into all the hidden corners you never quite uncover.

Heaven, are you happier now? Excuse the backwards reference, you don't have to get them right to remind people of their significance. Maybe it's just trying to avoid the crippling economics of your lawsuit over mine in this cathedral of "laws and justice" who so rightfully uphold the peace and order. The claims court will have you for this. You shouldn't have let slip that you knew society was fucked. All you had to do was tap each clone on the shoulder, you'll know how awake they are instantly. How and not whether because we're creating a culture of many believing they practice what they preach when they remain so uninformed and refusing to open their open-closed eyes. Free your mind! 

Still, you look at the case and say to your lawyer, financially a mess - soulfully more intact than ever.

She's the mean scene queen, downing the pills and taking another swig from the bottle. Her laughter is her riff, whilst it shudders others about her wake. To give her credit, she at least speaks in absolutes where the rest of her life is a chaos of mystery. Rolling out the carpet, Entropy Queen, welcome home. She burnt black forevermore it - dropping a lit match, she never cared for that celebrity red anyway. The runway was set. Take off with no scheduled landing. This is how you go off the grid.

Can we ever escape this human condition?
Can we ever escape the mess we have made?
We continue to make.

A pause in this life!

What have we done? What have we done? What have we
This is so reminiscent of a breakdown.
Species: human, let me check you in. Your stay will be a minimum of 72 hours and whilst you are here you will be allowed no communications with any persons outside of our facility unless permitted by our head of staff. This will not happen. It has been brought to our attention that you are posing a danger to yourself, we'll take good care of you and ensure nothing happens. First swallow this -- what is it? Do not concern yourself, you will feel much more relaxed, that is once the nausea has worn off and you might go a little hazy. There you go, very good. Ah yes there you

And suddenly the camera is rolling again,
yesterday's news no longer relevant
that death no longer significant
we can try try try to make it
already moving on to the next injustice
we are so flawed
are we so flawed
do we so choose this
did the flaws pick us
maybe that's God's design
how about that
what do you make of this
lets be angry
lets br
Turn that fucking camera off the air n-..........................

Is it so tiring to be in and out of confusion. To tumble and not understand. To have to deal with every life event that presents itself to you.
I once heard a great writer's quote about the human condition which was along the lines of if there is one thing us humans surely are, we are truly resilient. We just survive in ways that surprise even ourselves. Despite everything that happens.

Still, are you not left wondering how true this statement is? What drives us forward? Selfishness, willing, kindness, rage or mindlessness. A many possibility belies this question. There is no answer. Not a singular one. We're too messy to be that organised. Surely.

I find myself more and more worried about the state of things. Things that are so much bigger. It pulls me into a deep sorrow that I do not shrug off, I don't know how to. I'm so sorry, there was such a determination to right something happy and it just descended into this. One last attempt to make you smile before the long walk home. Wear mittens, scarves and hats - you mustn't catch a cold. I will ask you no questions, nor you to me. Your sad ways are understood and no need to explain, just come bundle yourself here, we'll put warmth in those bones yet.
Let us just kiss like all those people do and forget ourselves a little longer. 
Fill yourself with the stars you are missing, feel more whole, perhaps.
Remember too, there is always goodness still.
Wherein love remains.


  1. God, like every thing you write, this is so fucking gorgeous. I think to retain a sense of wonder, of hope or of some kind of faith in the human ability to re-love is the single most powerful act of resilience. I know I'm a bit naive and cliched but still, 'wherein love remains' there is definitely resistance x

  2. There is so much music in your words. I read this again and again. What is amazing about this is that each section can live on its own and be so powerful but put it together and it's like an atomic bomb. I adore this.

  3. I worry more and more too, as I get older, when I know that I shouldn't. It's getting increasingly difficult to forget.


  4. I worry too at the state of this world, but then I get to wonder who am I to assume that I know how this world should be? And even if the worst happens and the world ends, who's to say there isn't a better one waiting in the wings? xo

  5. the way you write is beyond beautiful, i feel as though i am curled up in between your words... feeling so much of what you say and how you say it.


Thank you for your words.