Sunday 5 January 2014

Dear Lamp, Love Moth

Born with a weak heart?
Not wanting of much, but thrust into other responsibilities.
But nothing's wrong.
Left wanting.

http://marrybee.tumblr.com/post/69521168382

Dear sir/madam,
A recipe for future wellness, a bit dusty and worn but y'know it's the basics that really get you going. And arriving at, what must be, the place! Adults now, no longer children. 'It's time to' embrace that. Taken by the scruff and dragged along, but not for long, pace set and hands held instead, sometimes even pulled along - but never too impatient. Otherwise that's when the darkness descends and the journey must halt, camp set up, fires for warmth, resting weary bones and back on booted soles first thing in the morn - crack of dawn, okay for you?

Many number of sights will be checked off your bucket. Mountains, deserts, grasses and waters. Where there is nothing and everything. Constant chatter and eerie peace. Is that the roads of nowhere or the path that gets your soul back on track? Make you feel alive in life again. I didn't forget what you said (how could I ever?).

Those we pass by in trees and far away (not really minature) houses, wave and (assumingly returned) smile. Days go on and continue. All part of the human experience, we guess. Don't worry there's only a 0.00001% we're actually right about anything. It's all guesswork and doesn't have to be concrete. But some hardened facts can be told to you, if stability is what you need right now - or at any moment really. Reply whenever. Externalise sometimes - but don't leave all of us in the dark always.

Whether that travel is just to warmer shores for your imagination to bathe in and restore beauty, or actual path bashing and tramping. Wait and word when necessary. Stand and, don't deliver, but receive gratefully when offered. They'll tell you you've got 'one chance' and 'don't screw this up' - but really that's only one thought and method of motivation. It's not necessarily true, rather one path you could follow. Know to take all the "time" in the world and carefully unwind that spring. Finally awoken. Feeling pleasant, calm smiles that are like ocean waves lapping upon soft sands. Gentle, like the brightness of stars even through your telescope. Even up close, you are ever more perfectly composed to me. Gloves that match and fit and sometimes can get a bit lost from each other for a bit but are always found again together - after all, they come in pairs.

As we've been on this road together awhile now, it seems so appropriate (and impossible to not) asking if you are taking the safe trip home or the one that looks a little rough around the edges? There's that one with thorns and foul airs, but I would rather assume that you wouldn't chose that, though if you do, I have a light and red string that I will bravely venture forth with. I'll keep them close, and come after you. Find you in the dark. Like in a fire, I'll wrap my cloak on your beaten body and extinguish the flames that tried to bleed you. It's a maze once you're in there and I know all too well. Luckily, both an entrance and an exit exist and we'll find one of those. Start again or start new, we'll take each as they come. We're not really going backwards that way!

Words have new sounds and tenderness has different meaning when held tight. Close and safe. Reasoning is not so necessary at this point. Close to that one. Does it ever make sense to leave then? Being away from them, of course we cannot break this earthly fabric of physics webs and be all there at all once (but that's another matter of discussion that requires a late night of unseeming prospects turned on their heads - a night that turns out to be so much more, ending in the incredible. And those, my friend, they don't happen as often as we hope). We act as though we are leading the mute, blind and deaf when we break down barriers and let someone knew into our own little worlds. We are scared (any extent, different per person), vulnerable, cared for and carried. Some say this is when the little castle of ice melts and the heart is able to beat warm and strong. I'm not sure I'd agree with this image. But images are so subjective that I am rather pleased to find others disagreeing with me.

Not sure what you are seeing - the induced illusions, patterns, colours, figures. Sometimes there are those that see them without that extra help and sometimes others forget this. Even those that surprise you in their forgetful state. Close your eyes next me, and remember - for one day that's all I will have left you with (not strictly true, I'll still be there over your shoulder and whispering silly comments). But I will be sincere and I will always be on your side - unless you need reminding of those sometimes others. Lilting and soulful, an imprinted kiss upon your forehead. It'll last a lifetime, but I'll sing of it love and make it last longer. And they'll talk of smiling photographs that make the stars seem less far away and possibility that little bit more, well possible. 

So whether you do it or not, a step up will be taken. Responsibility accepted, grown up for that time has come. Before you know it the next time to grow again will come, but it's not yet. Holes will be sewn and patched. Little heart, you will be healed. You will feel alive again. You will beat and passionately live. So until you realise that you're extraordinary without needing to really try, we'll do the things we normally do.

Born strong heart my dear,
Cherished - held so very close,
I will always love.

5 comments:

  1. "so until you realise that you're extroadinary without needing to really try" the last paragraph is my favourite x

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  2. This was so beautiful I am actually crying.

    When do I get to hug you for reals, Mhairi? My arms are so empty they hurt with the need to hug a friend.

    <3

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  3. It's been far too long since I was here but you're as wonderful as ever. You've always lifted my heart, dear.

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  4. "Where there is nothing and everything. Constant chatter and eerie peace." <-- I love this. lovelovelove it. It sums up exactly where I want to live and why. Trees and no people, constant chatter of birds and running water. Perfect.

    <3

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  5. P.S.
    Probably because I hardy ever post on it OR talk about it. Because it's limited to one thing and I have to sound cheerful I'm not motivated to post there much.

    "Being your friend is an absolute pleasure and privillege, I feel very proud to know you." Right back at you. *Hugs* Thank you so much for saying that about the looking-after-myself thing. It was such a powerful weapon to smack the brainspaz in the face with. "SEE I'M DOING GOOD. STOP FEELING GUILTY! HA, TAKE THAT!" ^.^;

    Dralion is uber-smoochy right now. If you're willing to be she on you can borrow her for hugs all you like!

    The crying was a good kind. Honest.

    I feel so lucky to know you and to be able to call you friend even in this weird internet way. Look after yourself ok? Love you to bits and pieces *huggles*

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Thank you for your words.