Thursday 17 February 2011

And the Pioneer Saboteurs

The beauty of her back, turned on us all.

I was never good enough for you. Hide and seek can be the official game. We're keeping focused through a rosy haze. Count backwards as though ironically pointing your hands at Time's inaccuracy, (you'll make the clocks jealous if you carry on like this).
Is that how they all live, we wonder. Yet they obviously don't realise it, we conclude.

I know the best hiding place ever - you won't find it, even if you say you see the blink of eyelashes, the quick inhale of concealed breath and the sudden silt falling in the air, heady, like secrets.

Why do I want to be lost when it seemed to be getting back on track?
Was one nonsuccessive conversation with you all it took so send me spiraling?
Was it the work of a subject curriculum, that proved too much for us, meaning me, to bare?
No you're making excuses and you know it.

So selfish! So undeserving! S0-don't say it.
I'm so disgusting. Too late.

Your smiles, I feel them all over your embrace. Encompassed. Surrounding. It is a mystery how they fill you up and you pass them through your eyes to saddened ones. Please don't meet me for your soft lips on mine again, I never deserved it.

Do you feel like just sleeping forever?
I am scared.

3 comments:

  1. Oh yes, I do feel like sleeping forever, so often. And it scares me too. It scares me unimaginably.

    Your writing is beautiful as ever.

    Love,

    x

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  2. yes, sometimes, no a lot of the time, i do wish to sleep forever and ever.
    does that scare you? i wish you weren't. i wish i could say something to help but i am left blank.

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  3. How is it you write so wonderfully? I'm so rarely drawn into someone's words, they brace me still as I read, for their meaning is not readily apparent. They beg for attention and I'm happy, almost compelled, to give it.

    You turn me inside out, make me think, and I love it.

    And thank you for your last comment. xo

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your words.